“To succeed, you need a small group of people who trust you, believe in you, and are committed to you – not hundreds of superficial contacts.” – Power Relationships

Can you name a book that can improve your CAREER & PERSONAL life?    I can – “Power Relationships” by Andrew Sobel.  This book contains 26 “Irrefutable Laws” for building EXTRAORDINARY relationships.

Below is my UNBALANCED summary of “Power Relationships” that will help make your life REMARKABLE:

1) “Be unafraid to ask.”

• Takeaway:  You have to have the COURAGE to ask.  In the world of SALES, it is called SALES BALLS.  On occasion, your SALES BALLS have to be as BIG as MAN HOLE COVERS.  If asking difficult questions makes you uncomfortable, that’s fine.  But do yourself a favor and GET OUT of sales because you will goto bed HUNGRY.

2) “Walk in the other person’s shoes.”

• Takeaway:  EMPATHY is a game changer.  The ability to feel what the other person is feeling and express it back to them in a sincere way will make your RELATIONSHIPS REAL and LASTING.  Coming from an old school Italian family and 20+ years of martial arts training, EMPATHY is something I struggle with DAILY.

3) “It’s better to know the right questions than to have all the answers.” 

• Takeaway:  The ability to get someone to open up and honestly share their perspective is a GIFT.  One of the best EVER at this skill was the late Tim Russert of “Meet the Press”.  Each week Tim conducted a master level class on how to ask questions to world leaders that would DESTROY their talking points and expose their REAL views on important issues.  ASKING instead of TELLING will bring your personal relationships to the next level.

4) “Change the environment and you will deepen the relationship.”

• Takeaway:  Take your wife to a TROPICAL ISLAND.   Take your sales team kayaking.  Go for a walk with your Dad in the city.  What happens when you do this?  Your RELATIONSHIP  deepens.  You EXPERIENCE life on a different level.  The bonds become STRONGER.  This is something that parents with young children don’t do enough.  Sometimes its worth the extra effort.  The rewards will be LASTING.

5) “Integrity isn’t important – it’s everything.”

• Takeaway:  Just ask Lance Armstrong and A-Rod.  They climbed the highest mountains, only to come CRASHING down.  Armstrong climbed it 7 times.  They both possessed REMARKABLE talent and drive.  They will be remembered more for their short cuts than their accomplishments.  There will always be an asterisk after their names.  Don’t flirt with the *.  It’s NOT worth it.  No matter how sweet the REWARDS may seem.

5.5) “Build your network before you need it.”

• Takeaway:  To paraphrase Harvey Mackay – 3:00am is a shitty time to ask someone for $10,000.  Only the people who you have a REAL relationship with will help you here.  It’s tough to make friends and ask for favors at the same time.

Your professional and personal life are nothing more than the sum of your relationships.  The STRONGER your RELATIONSHIPS, the more POWER you will posses.

– Joe Ciccarone